That self-abuse might feel somewhat necessary and you might feel justified in it, but it's actually pretty counter-productive. Accept that you aren’t ready to forgive and trust your decision. How To Forgive Yourself. I even wonder sometimes if God hasn't forgiven me after all. 3. The one thing I’ve learned up to now is … Never does the Bible talk about the idea of “forgiving yourself.” We are told to forgive others when they trespass against us and seek forgiveness. To learn how to forgive yourself, you must first acknowledge that the past is the past. I was forgiven on multiple occasions by the girl who I hurt but I can't forgive myself. But when you say, “I know God has forgiven me, but I can’t forgive myself” not only will you stay stuck in the past, but you’re refusing to accept God’s gift of a better future, through refusing to take His gift of your sins being forgiven. One thing that helps is that I didn't mean anything by it but it still hurt her/her friends. I will share some techniques to help you and once you have learned how you can forgive yourself, you can then start working on being the best person you can be. If you just can’t forgive, I invite you to explore what worked for me: 1. 2. It is as simple as that (1 John 1:9). What should I do? Keep it about yourself, your apologies, and make sure that what you write is genuine. I don't want to tell my therapist this. I need to do this work. They may never forgive me and if they don’t it’s because taught them how not to forgive. They may choose to never speak to you again, and at the end of the day, that’s their choice. By refusing to forgive yourself, you are telling yourself a story about shame and obliteration – so many times that it becomes the only one you know how to act out. Ask yourself how not-forgiving is keeping you safe and listen to your truth without minimizing or correcting your beliefs. I need to do it for myself first before I can start introduce my new self to the people I love, the people I destroyed. It becomes the story that you bring into the future, rather than the one you lay peacefully to rest where it belongs. All I can think about is what a bad person I've been. It doesn’t mean that you can’t forgive yourself eventually. He would hate me and see how messed up I am. Be present and feel where those beliefs are still active in your body, 4. I am going to be talking about how we can forgive yourself and why it will help you. This seems fairly straightforward, but when we can really wrap our head around the fact that we can't undo the past—that the past is done, that those things happened—we open ourselves up to more acceptance. It's just what you need to do if you really want to forgive yourself. Forgiveness is also releasing my right … And don't fall into the traps of wondering if you are a bad person or bagging on yourself. So, I cannot forgive myself. 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